So, it’s summer.
There are two major publicity pushes in the diet industry every year. No, actually it’s now three, because apparently the impending holiday season is now a reason to “burn off the calories” and “keep off the holiday pounds”, too.
But what I actually meant was January and May, because in January we get sold the fucking ridiculous idea that we somehow need to make ourselves that bit shinier because, worst case scenario, four numbers have changed.
And in May, the diet industry likes to sell us the idea that somehow a bikini is scary and we won’t be able to enjoy the beach for even a hot minute if we don’t start cutting carbs/points/calories/whatever the cool kids are counting this year. Also, better start “sculpting” your bikini body.
How do you even sculpt a body? Sounds painful (and it is, trust me).
So, bottom line, you’re going to suffer and hurt to get this mysterious bikini body, something that’s a pure invention by society and reduces women to a) their ability to live off celery sticks or b) their immense “luck” in the gene department, and I mean luck in the current beauty standard’s sense.
Let me ask you something: What is a bikini body to you?
Is it a certain size?
Is it a certain look?
Is it mile-long legs? (I can assure you, there’s no way you’re going to sculpt yourself a pair of longer legs.)
Is it fitting into the bikini you bought two sizes too small to “motivate yourself”?
And also, what would this “bikini body” give you?
The chance to grab your dream partner’s attention?
Jealousy from other women?
Holiday pics that don’t make you cringe?
Think about it. Why do you need to look a certain way for summer?
And now I’ll tell you something. You don’t. Here is why:
- every clothing company has their own idea of what size means, and we all have different bodies of different genetic markups, size is a fucking stupid thing to base your self-worth on
- your look is perfect already. If you are a beautiful human on the inside, you’re a beautiful human on the outside. No, really.
- long legs are overrated. My husband has the world’s longest legs and he has the hardest time finding pants that fit him. So annoying.
- DON’T EVER BUY CLOTHES THAT ARE TOO SMALL IN AN EFFORT TO MOTIVATE YOU TO DIET HARDER. You deserve so much better.
- do you really want to reduce yourself to a certain body to attract a life partner? think about that one long and hard.
- the belief that self-confidence comes with weight loss is so, so, so skewed. I know from multiple personal experiences that usually it’s the other way around… The more I focussed on my starving body and weight as a means to measure self-worth, the less confident and outgoing I became.
- babe, you do not need jealousy from other women. We should work so hard to lift each other up instead.
- did you miss my line above? You are beautiful. You are gorgeous. There are fucking ugly pics of myself when I was clinically classified as underweight, and absolutely beautiful photos when I was clinically classified as overweight. Weight has zero zero ZERO things to do with beauty. Z-E-R-O.
I know it’s hard.
It’s hard to be strong and look away.
It’s hard to be strong and not get sucked in by all the women in bikinis smiling at you from newspapers, websites and apps.
It’s hard to truly believe you are beautiful just the way you are.
No, seriously. I know. It took me a decade to free myself from the belief that I’d have to somehow control my eating habits and punish myself with exercise to keep my body in check.
I cried in front of the mirror every night before swim class. I cried in front of the mirror every night before going off to a beach vacation. I cried in front of the mirror every time it was too hot to wear something that would cover me up.
And actually, I did spend multiple summers in long jeans and long sleeve shirts because I was so embarrassed by my body, and I was probably clinically underweight most of the time.
I also cursed my body for somehow always being thicker during the summer months and thinner during the winter months, when nobody could even see it.
But nobody needs to see your body in any kind of state to form an educated opinion on what kind of a human you are.
- people can talk to you and hear your thoughts on the matters you’re taking about, and see you’re intelligent
- people can see how you treat other humans and see how you’re kind
- people can feel your self-confidence and decide how strong and wonderful you are
- people know when you’re aware of your own beauty, and that will make you beautiful to them, too
By the way, people will also be able to tell if your brain is starving and you’re absolutely neurotic around food. Seriously. I’ve been on both sides and it. is. so. obvious.
Which, in all honesty, is not something that makes you desirable to be around. Sorry, someone had to tell you.
But honey, you deserve a damn awesome summer.
A summer without dieting, without obsessing over food or your stomach or your legs or if your boobs are big enough.
I used to spend my summers obsessing over the fact that I didn’t have any boobs. Ten years later, with the same set of boobs, just a little saggier from two long-term nursers, I can tell you with 100% certainty:
Fuck it. It just doesn’t matter as much as you maybe think right now. In fact, I very much regret wasting so much time obsessing over my booby, when I could have experienced fun and freedom instead.
Nothing matters as much as you think. Not your butt, not your hips, not your stomach, not your boobs, not your arms, not your feet or your freaking kneecaps. It just. does. not. matter that much.
What matters is that you have a fucking epic summer, with epic connections and epic joy and epic laughter and epic epic epic happiness.
Diets and excessive exercise and body shaming practices have no place in happiness.
Free your mind, babe. No magazine in the world has the legacy to tell you your body is somehow wrong for your bikini. And in case you need a permission slip: Here’s your permission slip to wear your true and authentic body inside any fucking bikini or swimsuit you like.
Fuck it. It’s not important. All that’s important is that you love every single awesome fibre of your awesome being and eat and do and wear whatever the fuck you want.