Do you sometimes wonder if you’re ever going to get it together?
I know you have a vision.
A vision of your kids growing up well. In a happy home. With a happy mom.
Every January it’s the same story: Your New Year’s resolution is to get organized.
You look up thousands and thousands of ideas on Pinterest.
You see all those organized mom-bloggers in their perfect outfits, showing off the latest way they organized their flip-flops. Or their boxes of eyeshadow, their twenty different spice mixes, the carefully chosen selection of dog treats. Take your pick.
It’s easy to look at them and think that this is exactly what you need.
If you just finally get this stuff tidied up, your life will be so much easier. Your laundry will stop haunting you, your kitchen will magically be clean and the playroom will never be a huge mess again. So you set out to arrange and re-arrange your family’s belongings in your shelves, drawers and cabinets all over the house.
Maybe you work your butt off the next few weeks.
You are drowning in laundry all.the.time (and by some miracle, your family seems to produce mountains of dirty clothes always in the exact same moment). You have to fight to keep things tidy. And yet the stuff piles up instantly, EVERYWHERE.
You start struggling. You think… Maybe this IS just a hard and awful job, this homemaking thing? Maybe everyone knows this, and you’re just a failure because you can’t get over your laziness. Because you don’t enjoy keeping a tidy home for your family.
Even if you sort of keep this up, you never feel that it’s right. That this is something you see yourself doing for many years in a row. And you feel so incredibly guilty about it.
And once the clutter is back to its usual state, after you had another disorganized and stressful birthday celebration (which you swore you’d never allow to happen again), you give up. You just physically don’t know how to conquer your household in a way that will last, without you turning into a frustrated cleaning-bot. Homemaking genes? Clearly you played hooky when they were given out.
And before you know it another New Year’s Day is just around the corner – and you need to make the same resolution once again.
Let me tell you a secret: You are not alone.
Yes, there are many moms out there who weren’t born with natural homemaking and organisation skills. But you might not even notice, so you feel as if everyone gets it, everyone except for you.
As women, we’re pretty good at pretending everything is fine. And we’re pretty bad when it comes to asking for help.
So we keep up appearances. Clean up the house for an entire day before guests come over, usually having to make last minute decisions between stuffing the remaining chaos into random cupboards vs opening the door in our sweats. Pretend that we have it together, while in reality “home” means anxiety, stress and endless frustration to us.
And you know what this leads to: You feel ashamed. Too ashamed to confide in anyone, probably not even your own mom.
But I want you to know this: It doesn’t have to be this way.
I know there’s something so much better waiting for you.
I know there’s a way you can feel proud of your homemaking skills.
I know there’s a way you can enjoy keeping a nice home for your family.
I even know there’s a way you can pack for a vacation in an organized way, buy (and wrap) every Christmas present before Christmas Eve, have time and energy for fun crafts, trips or just a quiet moment with a book, and be motivated to get out of bed early in the morning.
You want answers, you say? Well, I want an answer first:
Do you want to keep working hard to fight back the clutter, or do you want to start working hard to create a wonderful home and life?
I will never claim that you can clean up your home once and then never having to do it again. #lifewithkids
But I can guarantee you that you can stop putting your energy into a battle you will never win and start using it to actually create that happy home you always dream of.
The trick to making your dream come true… Isn’t another organizing project. At least not right now.
The trick is to purge your life from everything that’s standing in the way of your dream.
You need to SIMPLIFY before you can organize.
You will never find the time and energy to make those wonderful memories with your kids if you keep fighting your stuff.
Find it impossible to give things away?
Well, it is time to start seeing yourself as the manager of your family.
And as the manager of your family, you need to make some tough choices.
You need to step up and strip your home from the unnecessary, so you can bring in the good.
And once you go back to the beginning, hit the reset button on your home (yes, you’re allowed to do that) and SIMPLIFY, you can begin to learn.
Learn about the cycles of your household. Learn about the routines that make an inviting home. Learn about the habits that will help you become one of those organized moms, and in turn take away your frustration to give you back your smile.
Because once you purge your home from all the clutter that’s in the way, and only keep what you a) really need and/or b) that brings you true joy – you will find that you can start organizing what deserves to be organized – and that managing a family is yes, a ton of work, but it’s work that rewards you with actual results vs constantly reminding you of your failed homemaking skills.
So this time around, instead of organizing what’s just in the way, start with getting rid of everything you do not truly need to make a cozy, well-run home.
And those failed homemaking skills? Forget about failure.
You’re going to literally rock your house, I know it.